part 2

PHILIPPINES!

well i needed you

i just realise

there is over 700 billion people living on earth
and maybe my calculations are wrong
there is more every second
but over 700 billion.
sometimes,
all you need is just one
well i needed you
your were that 1
out of the 700 billion people
and out of the 700 billion people ,i still miss you.

so now im going to leave for Philippines.
and im going to get my well deserved break.
going to miss you memeks!
and dinah and raa!
and homies!

pain comes in stages..if we dont make it
nothing changes
so im just going to enjoy myself now!
haha so long..il be back soon
i want to NOT think about you now

you dont see me but i see you

(i love this song ..its everything i feel like telling you)atika intro to me
thanks memeks for the awesome times just now
im living for u guys man
and all the other sweet people out there
who are there for me
i love u guys

im standing across from you
And dreaming of the things i do
I don't speak you don't know me at all

For fear of what you might do
I say nothing but stare at you
And i'm dreaming
I'm trippin' over you

Truth be told
My problems solved
You mean the world to be but you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
While we're risking the way that i see you
That i see you (3x)
That i see

Conversations
Not me at all
I'm hesitating
Only to fall
And i'm waiting i'm hating everyone

Could it be you fell for me?
And any possible similarity
If its all how would i know?
You never knew me at all but i see you
But i see you (4x)

I'm standing across from you (but i see you)
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do (but i see you)
I'm standing across from you (but i see you)
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do (but i see you)

Truth be told my problem solved
You mean the world to me
But you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
While we're risking the way that i see you
But i see you (4x)

I'm standing across from you (but i see you)
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do (but i see you)
(4x)

But i see you
But i see you
But i see you

you know thats exactly what i feel like doing ,taking a bunch of plates
and throwing it.
point is i hate the fact that i miss you.
anyway first day at work was not bad...
my boss seems nice
and people are friendly
VENUS IS BACK
finally and thats awesome
leaving on mon night
okay so so many things happening and technically you should even be in my mind now
BUT YOU ARE.
anyway some people are really making me smile more these days and i dont know why
haha missing memeks too!
seeing mr bohari and venus lim tmrw
Thanks youjing for hearing me out that emo day haha
sorry arh


if i could choose one thing is my life to go my way
it would be having you in my life

waiting

and thats why its so hard to let go

“ You rarely notice, but I hang on your every word. Wasted Time by Meshell Ndegeocello

and thats why im still waiting ...for a sign
from you

whats the point in waiting right?

how do you say goodbye?

sometimes when we want to run away ,
time moves so slowly.
but when want to stay,
time is just not on our sides.
The funny thing is
you wish you given everything to
turn back time and make your self not even think about
running away in the past.


point is
for me
one moment,one dream
one smile,one laugh
and one love

thats all we get
only one
cause thats how its suppose to be
loving something that you know
will never be possible

somehow its weird
how ill always remember every bit of the moments i had
that memory is in my heart

and thats how i say goodbye to you
keeping the memories
but losing you

you got me high and i dont even know yet
the sun's in the sky its warming up my bare legs
i cant deny ,im looking for the sunset
its the search for the time before it leaves without you
have i lost my mind,or have you taken all of mine too?

ENGLISH IS DONE more to go

So english is done .now there is still next week

and the week after to go.

i know its going to end soon

today me and venus were coming up with

how people will be reacting on the day of our

last paper

im hoping to see papers and science books flooding the dustbin

haha but not possible we got to save the enviroment.
anyway meixi is soooooooooo adorable sometimes
even do she makes it so hard to live my life peacefully
so i dont know why

i seem to be in a better mood today

i guess mummy and daddy arnt that bad
they piss me off to the max but in the end before i head to bed they some how make things
better

yesturday went for high tea with my family
quite a fun experience
THERE WAS CHOCOLATE FONDUE!
arh!
i went crazy when i saw it
haha
anyway MR NOEL NAVIN!
MY DEAR BROTHER
STOP STALKING HOT GIRLS !
haha he is such a loser
my bro:hey that girl in the floral top quite hot arh
me:ey yeah quite.y? you know her arh?
mr bro: NO but i want to :D
me: LOSER!

anyway you know whats weird,if leslie(my bros gf was there)
they both would be talking about how hot the girl is
HAHA ! yeah thats why they are meant for each other
but no matter what i know my bro loves leslie so much

anyway so MR NOEL NAVIN GOT A PIC OF THAT HOT GIRL
and i was like EW stalker!


anway my mum made a fool out of herself
she took congee
then she wanted to add pepper
and its quite weird because the salt and pepper was connected to the same bottle
u must know how to use it
then she didnt realise she
actually put salt
and she was like

"you know what this congee is terrible is so salty you know"
and then we were like really arh
then she realise she dumped so much salt in the thing that it tasted like that
HAHA!


anyway daDDY keeps saying sandles is slipper shoe
its call sandals right?
haha

okay so i have a weird family
oh i bumped into syahir yest he was with his family at the same high tea place haha!


ANYWAY KAMBENG KEEPS SAYING ITS FRAPPAY
but its call frapp!
and i know it cause there isnt a toing on top of the E
i mean what kind of theory is that
haha
kambeng needs to take an english course lar



anyway
have you ever felt a moment
when you miss someone and they
keep sticking in your mind
and somehow you want to see them
and boom!
they appear infront of you
looking more amazing then ever
and you find your self
feeling breathless
how do you stop that?
if i knew how to
it wouldnt have been so hard to look away


Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
--Eddie's Wife"
— Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet in Heaven -

never lose who you are

you know if your ever having
the worst day and you look like crap
and you dont know what your doing or saying
never go and talk to a person you want to
have a gd bond with or someone you look
up to or have alot of respect for.
you would end up making a fool out of yourself
thats what i did.
to that person im really sorry and
i hope you know i wasnt myself.
i truely have alot of respect for you.
am so sorry.anyway
i really like this song.
and i have to speculate
that god himself did make us intocorresponding shapes
puzzels pieces from clay

true it may seem like a stretch
but its thoughts like this
that catch my troubled head
when your away when i a m missing you to death
but everything looks perfect from far away


thought abt you
btw its a different you
dnt get confused
i took time time to realise
that your warmth is crashing down on me
i took time to realise that im on your side
but i can tspell it out for you
no its
nevr rgoing tobethat simple

Jacko this ones for you boy

jacko boy

this post is dedicated to you boy

cause when i use to come back sad and angry

on the worst days

and when i had no one to talk to

cause i was alone at home

you were there

you listened

to eveything i said

even the weird songs i use to sing while making dinner

you heard everything

you know everthing about me

and i am so sad boy that your gone

you were my best friend

times when i couldnt sleep

i would just come down to the kitchen and watch you sleep

and it was so peaceful

watching you go today was the hardest thing i had to do

but you died with my hands around you.

i love you so much

and your a great dog

and no one could ever replace you

i remember when i use to cry alot and somehow you just knew

i was sad

you would come and put you paw on my lap

and just sleep on my lap

boy i want you to know that these last few days with you

i will remember it the most.

the times in the night when ill try to put you to bed and say good night

you made me see

what love is really about

and what it means by a dog is a mans best friend

goodbye jacko

and i hope whereever you are now

your happy

i love you buddy

to people out there who want a dog

let me tell you the sad truth

life with a dog is an extraordinary experience

and its a life with so much love

and sometimes its not easy

but one day

one damn day

you would have to let your dog go

and the truth is

it would beat the shit out of you

but you would have gained a great friendship

one that no human could ever replace or be

to people who have a dog

appreciate every moement you have

with them

and try telling your problems to them

youll realise they are way better listeners

and you suddenly feel a load of your chest

enjoy the beautiful moments and never forget it

2009 in css

selena gomez....you never fail to amaze me
every day:D


SO YEAH lets take one step and a time
and we will get there


and i am so confident to be me
cause of you




thanks alot
so much


anyway i am so tired.like mentally tired
but after my long day of studying
i had a long talk with my pal
and just like our talks always are
it was great
and i realise
2009
has been a smooth ,awesome,fun year
thanks to
memeks
homies
deng dengs and!
the weird moments with some cute teachers like miss chu
today she came into class and she was like
"why you guys look like that? you guys look like a goldfish died in here"
haha my cute weird ch teacher ill never understand her humour
but she is so adorable

my life in css this year has been amazing
thanks all the people who played a part to make it this way

okay i need to sleep and get up to study
olevels..here i come
and you know what
YOUR GOING DOWN BIATCH!
haha okay i am mad
its been a great day

so the non dead nair is back...

yeah i am soooooo tired of you
and what your doing to me
but i cant stop it
cause your you :)

im back.i mean insomia free

i took like three solid days to get my body

to sleep at a certain time and wake up at a certain time

i kind of figured why i was having this problem sleeping

i think its because my mind was not at peace

i was stress and i kept thinking very negative

that whys sad things just happen this week

things i would never expect to happen

i got to stop thinking negative

i caught a fever and flu.

which was quite bad

have been to school for 3 days

teachers must prob think im crazy

but time was not wasted

:)

planning really helps!

omg gossip girl season three was amazing!

Blair -i want you have this

Chuck-why?

Blair-because i love you,you enormously stubborn pain in the ass

and i believe in you and if this makes you believe in you,then

later in the episode

blair:how do you know

chuck-cause you believe in me

awwwww chuck choooooswheeeeeeeeeet

you know i wish i knew what i did

so i wouldnt have done it

so if its something

please tell me.

okay i manage to take a nap

yeah its such a great day .


its all i can wish for..your happiness and well being
and i would do anything to see you happy.
even if its the smallest of things.
:)

tmrw is history re-test for me
so i got to go mug now
im just so happy i manage to sleep for 2hours
i hope the cycle doesnt repeat tonight
that would be damn freeky
haha
oh well
hitler and stalin
here i come!
oh man im becoming lamer than venus
haha

insomia? again? -.-

haha yeah and its raining now :)


yeah they say absense makes the heart fonder
somehow its damn true..sometimes its best to just disappear
for awhile.


i wont! no matter how tough it gets


i think i kind of caught on to venus's diesease

kind of weird
i cant seem to sleep as how venus puts it in 'human time'
and its kind of scary. right now its nearly 4am
and ive just been studying ,snacking and studying again and now on the com
oh and its raining
totally fits my mood now

sad your not around to steal away the rain like you always do :D
anyway
olevels is coming man

hais
JC MEMEKS
all the best for your coming promos
i know all of you will be amazing out there and do damn well
good luck and
love ya



i hate holding on to something i know i cant have
but why the hell am i still holding on to it right
i wish i could let it go
the best way to let it go is when your not
around anymore :(

dreams.

when day by day you just think your living a routine
and one day bam! your leaving sec school soon
guess thats life
and so many things changes
so fast before we could let our eyes see the beauty to life


yeah and it beats the shit out of me

a father...

my apologies.this post is kind of emo..but where else can i let it out
what are dads suppose to be

seriously.i never asked god for a perfect father
just a human one

but at least a decent one
a father never disowns a kid for making a mistake

a father never says get out and" ill never want to see your face again "
to his kid
"i dont care about you anymore!"

so why did mine do?

sometimes i wished i had a father that i never met
like im one of those kids who just never knew their father
and then i take back those words

when i remember the times when you and mummy were together
and i was primary 2
and you use to take me down and wait for the school bus with me
and you use to tell me weird stories
and how heaven and hell was as we both looked up at the dark sky of the morning
as lame and dramatic as it sounds
you did all that
that you made me and shyama chachie grew up
knowing how to use mac coms and playing com games
that you made us so techno friendly
and to love movies and games
and gave us that childhood

so you shouldnt say i dont love you
cause i do
alot.
that i still thought i had a the coolest and smartest father
but you were hidden behind this unfaithful man
that i never saw.shyama chahcie did but not me
it was your actions that made me stay away from you
because everytime i tried to fake a smile
the anger just filled up my gutts
and i couldnt keep that guilt of keeping something
from mom
i never stop loving you
but i lost that awe and respect i had for you
from the coolest dad you became a jerk to me
now i cant say i want to marry someone like my dad
cause i wouldnt

you dis owned me today for a small mistake

that any teenager would have done
but it hurt like shit
cause today
i lost my dad


they say that in your toughest moments
and when tears ,anger and pain seems to over take you
you think of people you love
im just living for memeks
cause i feel dead inside
of all the shit
thats happening suddenly
and when i start feeling so sad
i thought about you
and how it would have been nice
for you to be around and take the pain away
but i just pray to god to let it go.

i wish in these moments
reality was not reality
and i could live one day
being there with you.
for now please just be my signal fire

somethings to say

:)

thats is the truth :)

thursdays

oh man i love the both of you!


found this on tabitha's blog
its soo cool that she likes leighton meester too
anyway did i tell you that leighton meester was born on the same birthday as me
yeah! haha
btw i love her sooo much (leighton meester)
she is soo unique and adorable :D

so anyway i am feeling much better.yest night i took a flu tablet and went to bed


woke up today feeling so much better :)

OKAY I KNOW I AM SO LATE AT SAYING THIS


but i watched the VMAs while taking a break just now and

kanye west...what the hell is wrong with you man!

taylor swift i believe you deserve to win ! your such a nice and sweet person

and Beyonce ...you just made me love you more:)

AND REALISE THAT even though i think lady gaga is a weird person

she actually is damn sweet :D

oh and the MJ tribute was soooo awesome



i dont care what people think and say abt him ill always love MJ

oh and i cant wait for new moon to come out

tmrw we got to report at 10am
just when i thought i could get some sleep do some studies and report at 1pm
they say we have to meet with the principal
damn it.
oh well
life goes on

oh my...chuck and blair...I LOVE YOU!

oh i must add something funny here
my dear memek atika wanted to tell me to say the three words and eight letters
atika: nair eight words three letters
nair: atika what are you talking about?
atika: oh and starts laughing like crazy
nair:you mean eight letters three words
nair and atika: laughing like idots while waiting at boon lay
interchange

haha

oh i have to brighten my day with pics of the two of them!

i love chuck and blair so much!

fav couple of the year

i am feeling sick

oh no i am having such a bad flu and it sucks.

its like i couldnt do anything in peace in school.

poor dinah who were sitting next to me had to hear me sneeze and sniff the whole time

haha but i still love sitting next to her .

anyway jacko's face is swelled up near his nose area.
hais he cant see and he bangs against the wall
and he has cuts on his face
gosh my heart hurts so bad seeing my buddy in pain
god please do something



dont think i will go school tmrw .
really not feeling good
but fri is graduatyion cum awards day
yay will see memeks there

anyway
i suddenly like the meaning of this

"now and then when i see you see your face
you take me to that special place and
if i stare too long i probably break down and cry
i hate to look into those eyes and see any ounce of pain'


its been a long week
studying for olevels can be so tiring
but its not long before it ends
sometimes i just want to stop time.
so i can love sec school life more

anyway
damn i missed you by that much!
:(

so god damn hard

you know sometimes right.
i feel i dont even know why i am living .
sometimes i feel like everybody in this house
doesnt see things from my point of view.
they say i keep to myself.
but did they ever think about how sucky it is for me.
did they even think of how i must bee feeling
they say i keep to myself
but have you guys realise
THIS ISNT A FAMILY
its a damn CORPORATION!
there is communicatuion breakdown.
if you claim there is love in this family
there isnt.
the only love is from daddy and mummy and my brother
who achknowledges that i exist in this big damn house!
you know i do anything for my family.
but what is the point sometimes
i feel so wasted of the fact that they blame me.
they have no idea what i am going through
no freeking idea.

okay ill cool down
ill let it go.
but it hurts big time

anyway this part of this song..gosh its all i feel and want to say right now to you.:)

Ive been roaming around,i was looking down at all i see
painted faces fill the places i cant reach
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody

someone like you and all you know and how you speak
countless lovers undercover of the street
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you

off in the night while you live it up im off to sleep
waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
i hope its going to make you notice
i hope its going to make you notice
someone like me

just a quickie

was surfing and came across this quote..it really is amazing

how god sends you messages by the little things you come across.

today i got two messages.

:)

so a quick post cause i am in the mids of studying hitler .

btw i always wonder why the hell are we learning about mean bad people that kill so many people...meanies like stalin and hitler....

its funny how we never leanr about the good people .

oh well i still love history.

anyway i just want to say , i am not a NOBODY and i am going to be SOMEBODY!

ill keep telling myself that everyday.

i really feel very blessed today.

i dont know why but i know that

at least somepeople believe in me.

and you know what

IT MAKES ME NOT WANT TO GIVE UP MORE

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

there is no temptation or suffering that your going through that jesus cannot

identify with or give you his superbounding grace to overcome.

this was like the scond message.

the funny thing is after getting the horrible prelim results

i was telling myself that no one understands the frustration and pain and anger i feel

with myself for not being good enough or smart enough or being a last min person.

i was asking myself

where am i going to go with this kind of shit grades.

and i recieved this book today

and i was just looking at todays message and it said this

and somehow my mind felt at peace

god helps those who helps themselves

so i got to take the first step

:)

i am proud of myself

SO we all got to start from somewhere
this is two of my favourite quotes from the pursuit of happiness

chris gardner: it was right then when i started thinking about thomas jefferson and the declaration of independence and the part about our right to life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness and i remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something we can only pursue and maybe we can never actually have it no matter what.how did he know that?

chris gardner:Hey dont ever let somebody tell you that you cant do something,not even me alright? you got a dream you got to protect it.people cant do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you cant do it.if you want something ,go get it..PERIOD!

everytime i watch this movie ..my hair stands when he say that..because it is so true..why should we care what people think.why should we care if they say its to tough or you cant get it.its our dream ...we got to protect it..and its soo true...happiness,it doesnt come just like that
we got to pursue it..:) THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE who feel that you cant gety where you want to cause someone says your not smart enough or not good enough..
dont listen to them..fight for it :D


today is the first day i went for a run after a long time





and you know what...i feel really good





everytime i tell myself i want to go for a run





i end up getting lazy,today i told myself i am just going to go no matter what





it feels good..after the three months of unhealthy things i did





i finally have got back on the horse and i am getting my stamina back.





so i am going to continue this good habit.





anyway my plan now is to pick up good reading habits and to broaden my knowledge





this is not only to do well for my english olevels but to learn more about issues that are important today.





so i hope i keep this good habit ...and be consistent :)

your smile

one that i can never easily forget

one thats always in my mind

one that calms the worst days

:)

DAY OUT WITH MEMEKS
WAS GOOD:D

positiveness!

i read something on atika's blog just now and it really made alot of sense
when you focus on things you dont want the things you dont want will never disappear.
so why am i focusing on things i dont want.
my priorities will be studying and getting my dreams.
and i am going to pray hard and ask god to help me be focused and not let matters of the heart take control of me.
i cant do that.
i am going to focus on the things i want.i am going to focus on the big things coming for me
and i am going to focus on being a good kid and being good in things i do.
i just have to fill my mind with what i got to do.it would take me away from thinking about sad and unwanted things.
so what i got to do is to
STUDY
when i want to avoid the bad stuff
just get occupied with work
and PRAY
to me church is the most peaceful place on earth.
because all the shit load of crap thats taunting your head
suddenly doesnt seem to be there bothering you.
somehow when you leave ,you feel lighter.
sony mcdreamy
id ont even know why i liked that name.
its not only because i absoulutely love patrick dempsey in greys anatomy
but because i am a kid who never wants to stop dreaming
there is so much ahead
so much more things to feel and experience
why gloat over your missing oppourtunites now
why gloat over the heartbreaks of love
when you know that there is something better coming along the way

we are defined by our opportunities ,even the ones we missed.

i know i love you
and if thats all we can take.
if me knowing it is enough
then just let it be.

Teachers day

wishing all the teachers out there a very happy teachers day.

you guys make us what we are today.

so anyway yesturday was an awesome day.

even though i didnt get to sleep much cause i was doing last minute mugging

i still manage to remember some stuff for physics

i dont think prelims have gone great

BUT i still have lost my mojo yet i just got my engine warming up.

so anyway i gave my two favourite teachers in the world a teachers day gift

these two people really has helped me so much and i really appreciate them alot.

hope they like their gifts.

seeing memeks in css was soo awesome

i mean it was fun being around our batch peeps

so after seeing the teachers and all memeks decided to head to chevrons to play FUSEBALL!

i love fuseball man
esp with those idiots
as usual dear miss ahchoo had other plans

but it was fun ....after that the people who could eat grabbed a snack at hans and we all sat down and talked
as usual the talk time was good.

okay seriously
its either your dumb,oblivious or you just cant think straight
your contradicting yourself in so many ways
and the stupid thing is
you dont even need to do this
your just screwing things for your ownself
and then later you get emo
what is the point
jeez
i really wonder if your happy now
stop living in this box where you think
what your doing is going to make everything better
stop pretending your life away,
you disgust me sometimes.




anyway
you meet many different people in your life
some people stay and some people go.
the ones who were gone should mean nothing to you
should be taken off your memories and mind.
but you
i hope you live in my memories for a long long time
and i hope your one person who stays

cant stop the feeling

And how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you

would you tell me how can it be anybetter than this?

you calm the storms.

sometimes it better to just let it all go.even the memories

this week has been gloomy fun and boring.
mixed feeling i guess.
venus has been sick.hope she is better and is fine
school hasnt been the same for 5 days without her.
kept missing that pigs lame jokes and how she brightens my days
well her health is more important.
hope she takes care.

sometimes i feel
whats the point
you try so hard to get people to understand what your feeling
but they cant
its not easy to understand
cause its my own feelings but seriously
if they did they would see on my part i am so tired of everything in my life ready
all i want to do is just study and not disappoint the people i love
not disappoint memeks
not disappoint mummy and daddy
not disappoint the teachers who are helping me
and lastly not disappoint you

quiet but i am sure there is something here
tell me eveything cause i want to hear.
you know when these days seem tough and hurting
i just close my eyes and think abt one thing that makes me want to
be strong again
and at that moment
all i see its you

time flies
i suddenly dont want to leave sec school
because i feel attached to the memories css has given me so far:(
the more i think about the more it makes me not want to go.


today?
not a bad day at all...........

national day-memeks day-homies day -meixis birthday

what a great weekend.many things tried to ruine my mood during this weekend.

but in the end of the day i knew my memeks would make that [pain just vanish.

so thursday was meixis suprise birthday party things turned out pretty good haha

vincent failed at being and organiser haha but we all still had a wonderful time.

meixi and vincent have somehow grown on to me.i mean they are two really cute people

that really make my life so much more brighter in school.i appreciate them so much and i think

i dont mind going the extra mile to do things for them like helping out in the birthday celebrations.

very sweet people.and i feel very blessed.
friday for national day in school
even though it felt like containment it was really fun with class 5/1 and dearest dengs dengs.
it was a great day and i had alot of sweet moments to remember of that day when i leave css.
later went out with homies to watch UP 3D.
wow it was so awesome hanging out with them.suddenly you just feel so happy and high
the movie was awesome.sooo cute and funny
me and venus were like laughing at the same lame jokes haha
dunno y arh haha
i teared at some parts i guess i was somehow touched.haha
and as usual the skeptist vincent had alot of things to say like the 3D thing wasnt good enough
haha very cute
he really shld be a critic .

so then after that we decided to grab ice cream.
WARNING NEVER EAT ICECREAM WITH HOMIES
ITS LIKE HAVING A WAR!
haha we bought one tub and vince and macy were like fighting with each other for the strawberry and lemon side.
me and venus couldnt eat our icecream in peace

so friday ended with a bang ...went home and thought abt the beautiful day i had and smiled before i went to bed.
i got so much to thank god.for all the great people i have as friends


saturday was boring and terrible
like i said.saturday was the day that made me feel like thw worst idiot in the world

well i rather talk about sunday
sunday went for atikas bro wedding then celebrated venus and bobos birthday with memeks
then watched the ndp.
we even got to see a guy propose to his gf after the ndp screening ended haha it was so amazing to see that in singapore
anyway watching the fireworks and singing ndp songs with memeks
the word HOME
suddenly had alot of meaning
they said home is where your heart is
well my heart is where memeks were
yesturday we had our arms around each other watching the fireworks
and i just knew
i was home
the pain the anger the constant worry
it just vanished
and you just feel peace happiness and love
YES LOVE
lots and lots of LOVE
because it wasnt anyone else
it was memeks

i love you guys so much

pictures and all will be posted.this is just what happen
during this beautiful weekend
even though it had its pain
this national day was the best i ever had
this weekend was the best

i just wonder to myself
can you live a facade
can you choose to live your life in a lie
can you choose to hide the emotions and feeling you have
reality is hard its asskicking and its heart poking
but ill deal with it
when the one you thought understood
punch you so hard in the heart
that its so hard to recover from the pain
just got to let it go right?

we are all built to make mistakes
sometimes its hard to avoid making the mistake
sometimes we do it not on purpose but because it has become who we are

i guess your words would be edged deep
and ill try not to forget it
meet the whole new me
you should be damn bloody happy now right

when i'm down on the dirt i think of my inspiration
so seriously ...what the hell do you want me to do now?
what the hell do you want me to be?
cause i'm done being something to you

to selena gomez!

hey i am so sorry i din post this earlier as i had so much things on my mind this week

so i just want to say HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SELENA GOMEZ.


you TURNED 17 ON WEDS 22JULY 2009


I CANT BELIEVE I AM OLDER THAN YOU HAHA


and the greatest thing was that wednesday was my most luckiest and greatest day haha!


wow!
i hope she had a great day!



so this week has been great
next weeks going to be awesome too
you make me smile please stay for a while NOW
wherever u go ill always know:D

old posts

i just spent like 30 mins reading all my past posts.
and i just realised something
i am a much happier person
and i really think deeply on things

and the greatest thing i realised
its been always you
since march 9th 2009
HAHA

i was so depressed last year
and i just realise how stupid it was to be depressed.
if only i found you last year
gosh i would have been changed then

i love this feeling your giving me
soooo thinking of you right now
:D

what a day man..just what a day:D

today.
hmmm
not a bad day at all.
it was amazing
and like a dream
what can i say.
god is great.
he makes us happy by making the things that make
us happy happen
saturday when i go church
i am really going to tell him thanks
cause today
its the happiest i been by far.
great day

its 1 am? ...great i cant sleep haha

wow its 1am.
have been studying.
anyway i just cant sleep
too alive and high
your still clouding up my mind:D
anyway just wanna say
am thinking of you
gooood night and sweeeet dreams
your in your very own dreamland now
i think now i can peacefully sleep.
haha
lifes has its sweet moments.
your the biggest part of it.

more alive then ever

i dont know how
maybe its magic
you made me more alive then ever
you know
i walked back to class before combine humans
with the widest smile on my face
miss chu saw it
i think she thought i was crazy
but i was smiling to myself
and i did not care what the people around me were thinking
but its all because of you
my one and only addiction
thanks alot:D

In repair

so schools been such a gloomy, irritating drag.
guess thats how much i miss you.
okay so anyway .love mondays
because we end super early haha.
anyway i got a new tagline
its call CHILLAXE!!!
okay i know its not new but i think its cool
i bet venus is already irritated with me using it.

my previous two taglines that i used to irritate dear dinah is

"whats up with the sensitivity women!"
or
"what's up with the attitude SISTA!"

haha dinah would get super irritated lar haha
okay i am super random

man i really love homies so so so much
they make me laugh like shit everyday
love you homies

i mean its soo heals my withdrawal symtoms
and my swirly and twitchy emo moments

anyway today i was peacefully entering the canteen with venus for lunch
i was so peaceful inside
till i saw that wasted piece of DNA sitting down and eating and
i was like fuming.

oh well venus cooled me down haha
anyway i just would like to say something thats in my head
seriously if you think you taken away my pride and my happiness
you din
you dont even affect me one bit
you think your outstanding
your not.your a dot to me
you have hurt me alot.
the truth is hiding in your eyes and hanging in your tongue
its just boiling in my blood and you think i cant see

are you even human
something i think i must figure out myself
how did we get here?
when i use to know you so well?
dont know what to say already
but this

okay so thats just me being super pissed
finally thats out


now i just want to say
i am in repair now.
in this super dark days
all i see and need is you
i truely deeply miss you alot
till its swelling in my gutts
till i feel so sick and empty inside
till i want to just scream out
ahhhhh!!!!!
till i want to throw something
just come back now!

stop this train!!!!

no i am not colour blind
i know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this trainI wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thingT
ill you cry when you're driving away in the dark


no one can help me but me
but it doesnt mean i dont love you all
its not like i wanna be bad
its not like i wanna be weak'

all i keep thinking about is how hopless i am in studies
and all i keep hurting about is the way i am
all i need is a little faith from people
that i am a star and that i can shine
all i need is that faith that i can be someone in life

cried cause out all people i din want you to know
what a bad person i am.'
out of all people
i wanted you to believe in me
i wanted to be someone to you
but its all impossible if i keep going the way i am
i knew the moment i see you
i would stop
i would stop everything
but maybe i am a weak person

i wish i could be a better person


to memeks
i know i am not that strong person anymore.
and i am so sorry.i dont know whats up with me
love you guys

and to you
i wish i din have to be this person
i wish i din miss you din much
to the fact i think i am crazy
to the fact i hate myself for the way i feel
i wish you make me come out of this.
i love you.always have.always will.

jim and pam(the office)US VERSION

omg jim and pam is just so adorable .i mean i love the office now...

its so funny and i love jim and pam!

time passes fast i guess haha

oh the pic that was taken on yj's concert night

ahchoo warned me and venus not to be late but guess who was late

she was! ahahaha ahchoo u dont warn us when u yourself cant be early haha

miss memeks alot!!!

met up with atika on weds
it was real fun she came to visit me haha
and give me her invitation card to her bros wedding
i dunno what to wear also haha
anyway

i just realised THREE MORE DAYS :D
ahahaha yay!
cant wait ..the more i think of it the more restless i get
anyway
since i totally slacked yest today i did some productive work
today will be spent studying and maybe getting some proper sleep
last night i couldnt sleep at all.i dont even know why i am so bothered by small issues

maybe its me ..i got major issues with mysellf i guess
haha oh well
forget it

tmrw will be two more days
gosh i think i am the only person in the whole wide world that missed you this much.:D
AND I AM PROUD OF IT! HAHA

BACK TO HISTORY homework!
YAY miss chu is damn cute .
i mean i pity that no one laughs at her jokes but me
but i seriously think she is one hell of a cute teacher and she is so knowledgeble.
AND COOL!
ALL THE WAY MISS CHU!
YOUR THE BEST!I AM SO PROUD OF YOU THAT YOUR A PSC SCHOLAR

okay i am high haha
well of crs i only got to wait for 3 days to pass.