http://www.blogger.com/html?blogID=6197625707500597342 my destiny, my life.....: June 2008

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sundays...

i reali hate sundays ...knowing we got school the

next day plus common test

plus loads of other bullshit

cant wait when i leave commonwealth

wanna move to the east!

heard that van...

i wanna move to ur side of the world hahahaha!

i might be...

anyway....

so i am honestly quite sick and tired of being emo....

i think for now...i just want to have my own fun and study hard

spoke to my sis today...she said she wants to stay in L.A soo

mayb if i go to states can move to L.A too

haha i told my mom i have a plan in my mind

and i really dooo!

Friday, June 27, 2008

our future....together>?

feel like evrythings starting to fit in

feels like schools starting to seem great

feels like my future is starting to seem bright

the puzzles seem to fit...the wrong words seem to rhyme

believe in our future...and work for it

we are in this together

and dont give up hope....believe your going to live with me

believe we will have fun

believe inyouself..and believe in me

future together?its up to u and me to believe

You make my life and my journey seem lighter...and i dont want to lose you
i know i am not going to lose you..if our dreams come true..
stick with me ...have faith in me...and never let me go...things
seem really perfect now and i dont want to spoil it...i hope you feel the same way too
hope we dont fight and want to leave again


Thursday, June 26, 2008

my strength


me and qua!


my dear genius..atika!



me and my genius




NAIR!


BOHARI





THE SS PAIR!






ME,MY PAL,AND GENIUS






RANDON









SAXOPHONE..AND TRUMPET







MEMEKS....





memeks! i love you guys!this is for you!
work hard okay!
anyw....
its easier to be broken,its easier to hide
looking at you ,holding my breath for once in my life
i'm scared to death
taking a chance letting you inside
feeling alive over again as deep as the sky
felt in my skin....
my dreams .my imaginations and my desires now have a face
my existence has meaning
koi mill gaya !
found you!










Tuesday, June 24, 2008

its really difficult

no matter how much i try to forget ...the cut and pain is so deep and so difficult

it has let me to feel breathless and weak

but who is to blame but me

moving on is really difficult

u might be glad that i have moved on

but i know u deep

and inside its hurting u....u think i might not be able to

shower u with love again

but i want to make it clear.....

i will still be able to shower u with so much love being your friend

but .....if u want to leave me....if u want to let me down friend

if u want to let me go

then .....ill go

its difficult being a distant from you...

you should no better what its like

when we tried distancing ourselves before

mom...

I never say it but I am scared of the dark

mom
Usually I don't show it but I care about you mom
You know everything right mom?
You know evrything my mom

Don't leave me behind in a crowd I won't be able to come back home mom
Send me so far away so you can forget me mom
Am I really that bad mom?Am I really that bad my mom?Whenever dad pushes me hardy on the swing mom my eyes try to find you so you can hold me mom

you know everything right mom
you know evrything right
my mom

when my heart is in pain..
you know evrything right mom
you always knew evrything even if i din tell you..
i love you mom

life is abt moving on...

i have made a mistake....big mistake.....i mistook my love for a friend to be more

than just friendship love...i din mean too...i just hadnt figure out what it really was.

In life we get kicked down many times ...but those who fail and cry and emo abt their hurt and pain

cant move on and go on with their future

i realise i cant disappoint my parents and i wont....they have big dreams for me and i promised my mom ill marry someone she would adore...

today...i may have lost the only love that i found true...and the only friendship i found meaningful...i may not get that friendship again

and the person probably never wants to look at me again.

i am sorry friend....for testing our friendship

and for testing you..i am sry for making your heart more number than u already are...

i mistook everything..and i mistook you...

now there are like only two things in my mind...

america and memeks......i guess when ur heart is in so much pain ...u wanna wake up a

and achieve something greater

...i put all the stuff that reminds me abt you and my past away in a box and kept
it away.

and tommorow it will be a new day in my life

i guess my heart will become numb from now on....

friend....
one day when u look back in time ...just think of all those happy memories we had being as friends together

the path was made much easier with u around....

but now we have broken each others hearts

days when u feel like crying and i may not be there by ur side....think of me making fun of you

and laughing with you and u wld smile...

days when u felt like life wasnt worth living

think of me ...trying so hard to till u not to say die....and u will push yourself

days when u felt like ther wasnt love .....think of me ...the very friend ....who gave a world full of it.

those memories is all i have now to carry on with my life.

one day when you are close to death friend...and u think of evrything in ur life...think of me

because with gods grace i hope in my next lifee.i wont be your friend....i would b more than that

...i ask god to give me the strength to fufill my duties in this life

to achieve my dreams and to please my parents ...

after this...my past will just be a past....

and my present would be a gift

Monday, June 23, 2008

first day

today was great ....even though i dreaded school

today was great coz i went to school with the confident hear knowing i have let a chest load of stuff to u


today was great ......but something was missing.....

it feels great to finally say i love you

but my heart still feels soo heavy

i hope one day ...you take my hand.....and hold it tight and tell me....you love me too....

one day i can go to school feeling ...that i won you

Sunday, June 22, 2008

never follow your heart

2 am in the morning on 22nd june 2008

i sat on my bed and thought what and idiot i was...for the first time in my life i followed my heart

and maybe i ruine something else.....maybe i ruine my friendship

2 am in the moring i sat on my bed and realise...how being in love was so damn difficult

how loving someone was difficult...how i wish i could turn back time and change evrything that happen for the pass one year

2 am in the morning...i told myself that i had to break my heart by letting you go....

things are going to be different you know

y do u still want me

y do u still grab on to me so tight

making it hard for me to leave

if we continue being friends how is my heart going to accept that u dont love me

i dont want to leave you

but how can i hurt myself

dont be remorseful...u didnt do anything wrong
its me thats wrong

the day i said i love you..that was wrong

my bones ach and my sking feels cold a
i am getting so tired

i want u to ope ur eyes coz i need u to look in to mine

2 am i am sitting on my bed...and i realise how my lifes going to change from now on

i lost you

Saturday, June 21, 2008

pics of pop and other randoms


cornet section....sec 1,2,3 and 4 plus alumnai xinyue and alan




a very long time ago ...during the choir concert.





poultry and blooder!





i look nice:D










memeks!











junie and the sec 4s









little stars on earth

Sometimes there are people who may be slower than others....

who may not be smart and does not get all the A1s...who see the world in a different way

who are more of the think out of box people

the ones that have other talents and are street smart

but in the end they would succeed and become stars

there are many little stars on earth....did i forget to mention ..i am one of them

its not to compliment me ..its too show the people out there what kind of people my kind is...

to the ones out there like me....dont give up on urself and dont give up on what u believe in....


a little something i just got inspired by

anyway

so today spend time at home again cleaning up and later heading to lola nairs house

saw hannah....real cute kid....with her cute auzzie accent

she looked at us and said"my name is hannah" sooo cute going around kissing and hugging everyone

she is going to be real beautiful when she grows up.


lately i have been wondering ,who will be there to take my place

when i am gone u will need someone to light those shadows of ur face...

i want ot stop feeling like shit...giving u everything...its likes sucking up everything from me...and when

you are the only one who cann fill it up ....you dont


i keep waiting evry day...for one day ...youll be the same person u were before

the one who cared and love me

and who wasnt afraid

i cant wait forever....i really cant.....

i am so tired from everything we have been through soo far....i know more is going to happen

i am trying until i cant try anymore..

i am tired and i soo want to give up...

but something stops me

Friday, June 20, 2008

slacking at home

SO today

memeks wanted to go and see a show together ..but i guess the plans changed

as we all got work to catch up on.....so spend my day at home mugging on my physics

finishing up fauzys lame homework

...tomorrow have to fgo to lolas nairs house to see hannah my auzzie cuz

she is 4..and awesomely cute...

i just remembered today is memeks fri!

haha next week school is starting
its going to be a drag

but i told myself
that ill start to look forward to evryday

and i got to save money!

i need to save up to oay myself back...

yo memeks...ur gifts not cheap haha

i was soo broke u know and i mean that video for u guys

haha

hey friend i know u going through a hard time now

but just noe that things will get better when u believe u get better..i am always next to u why do u have to worry

and dont hide abnything from me again

it kills me

haha


just take care

i am here


..................haiz i cant believe schools starting

haha

Thursday, June 19, 2008

my POP ..my journey in the band

i have been in the band for four years

music has been in my life for four years.

yesturday i officially stepped down...and yeah its all over

POP was beautiful....and the feeling of performing fo the last time was great...

but now i realise that i have left music...as a band member music has been part of...when i played the cornet my true feelings the came out

the daYS when i felt life was a drag....i went to the band room to take john-john and play..

it made me confront my emotions and it made me see life in a different way

today when i woke up i told myself that i wanted to make my dreams a reality ...i told myself ...that i would leave my distractions behind that door and work for my memeks ...

memeks....you guys dont know how much i love u all...

and how much i thank u guys for opening doors to my future

i will always be a memek



lastly .......for this person


i am sorry...if i cant be by yourside anymore

actually i really love you alot
and i want you to be happy always

i am sry i have to take myself away from you

i am sry .....i hope one day you will know that i love u

someone told me that u were a distaction in my life and i guess you are

i cant be worrying abt u evryday anymore

just know that someday....one person will be happy coz u are...

i loved u alot