withdrawal symptoms

university of california berkely.its so nice.

boston university its huge man

my dream uni.brown university(in winter its so beautiful)

brown uni ..the campus is so nice
so those are one of the few uni's i am thinking abt
okay so i am kind of having withdrawal symptoms.
what is it??...its just separation from people you care abt or so badly wanna see.
i dont even know why i am feeling like this.its just when you dont see someone for so long
and all you wanna do is just see the person..or meet the person..exchange few words.but because
of time,busy schedules,studies,work.
its like i haven seen you in so long..and its like damn exhausting because when i dont see you thats when i gets so twitchy and emo and like start making super awkward conversations with my damn close friends.and when i see you and when ur around i am like soaring through the skies and as free as a bird...and i got a reason to be where i am and i just wanna keep going.


HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
ill never understand how.
your like some special miracle water or something.
you know i miss you.
and you know i wanna see you.
so please stop giving me mental torture by being mia
haha

secondly...i miss memeks so much again
its like all i keep doing is looking at the pics taken on the 18th of june and laugh and smile
mummy thought i was mad cause i was laughing at the laptop.
point is when ever i am with them
there is meaning in life again.
its like i wanna look forward to the future.
there is so much coming for me.
so so so much
you know secondary school its not even close to what the real world is about
and knowing that i am getting closer to the real world
gosh its so scary yet exciting
daddy always keeps saying
the world out there is wicked
and we have to work our way up
people are not that nice.

i guess he is somehow right
its like we got to not only look at the rosy paintings of our future
but the dark sides too
cause then we will be more prepared to handle certain obstacles that come our way.

i got this card which was a quote from the bible.
it somehow just had so much meaning to me
i am not preaching haha just saying
"With God all things are possible." - Matthew 19:26

its also the same as if you believe in something..its possible.
it may not have to be god..
but if you believe in your self its also possible

i am never the religous type i dont pray much
but i know one thing
god has plans for us
and sometimes'
if we loose something in life..we gain something else
so keep believing
i am ready to fight whatever challanges i may face going down the road to my future aspirations
and nothing will come in the way of me and going to states.
its not a dream that i only thought abt in the later years of my life.
its not just a dream i just came up with or suddenly decided
i have been dreaming abt going states and staying since i was five..
since i was watching tv in the living room with my aunty in ang mokio and saw this USA documentary and how my aunt was telling me abt it..
i was 5 and i knew that was the place i wanted to go.